Inconsistent Self

Inconsistent self. Every word that I write and think about, is susceptible to inconsistency. By being inconsistent I mean, being at variance with what I am and what I actually think I am. There is a considerable difference between these two. Our choices are rational and irrational, and due to the lack of further knowledge, we term anything as irrational , which doesn't come from careful thinking. Hence , our thinking and non-thinking nature guides most of our decisions ( not all, for I am not sure about that). Which one is our "self" ? That which is rational or that which is intuitive ? But the main question is not whether, what should be defined as our self, but , whether consistency is possible or desirable in that definition of self , which acts.

We are inconsistent. It is impossible to be consistent. But the culprit lies in "desirability". We desire consistency. But it always is elusive. And it is this elusiveness that guarantees that we are persistently in search of thoughts or ideas which we could consistently be. Nevertheless, despite of what we desire , it is impossible to be consistent.

But why desire consistency? Why should we be enslaved by an Idea to the extent that we cant afford to be out of it? The prime motive behind this hankering for consistency lies in the fear of unknown. We do not wish to dwell in unknowns. We want our homes to stay where they are , our relations and other such things to stay. This may be justified to some extent, but becomes too much a burden when used as an argument to make consistency solely desirable.

Man will be inconsistent. He may defy what he teaches today. He may praise what he despises today. He will be inconsistent, but in his inconsistency lies his desirability to be his own self. You may say then how do we have order , if men were to be inconsistent? But , the bias towards inconsistency being random is mistaken. Inconsistency is variable , but not random. It seeks its aim. And to that end, it moves, though others may consider it to be random. Chaos has an order, an order of different kind, which we do not understand through our naive capacity. Thus, its mostly in our myopic view that we associate inconsistent self with anarchy.
In being inconsistent thus, lies our consistency.