Friday, 30 January 2009

Just an another day today.

Just an another day today. Air is dry and Sun is blistering. Wearily I prepare to leave for office. My mind is full of questions. Questions of what? I can't say for sure. I guess that is what give so much intensity to the question. I just reckon the to do's of the day , but that doesn't hold my attention for long. Very frequently the question bangs against my mind. Who am I? What am I? How do I know myself? What is my Identity? How do I travel into the realms of the unexplored domain of mind and search myself. I am my mind, my reason, my logic. But then why doesn't it manifest itself. Am I not an animal, striving to fulfill its needs but could never see the peace within. If my mind is me, why does it thinks against me? If my mind is me why doesn't it seek life? How could my mind turn a traitor against me, thereby against itself. Its paradoxical. Is it self destroying? If so it must have been destroyed by now. I know that it seeks existence, but then why is it that it acts against life.In the Upanishads it is said that our goal is to realize self, its self that gives identity to this world. Where has this self gone? What leashes this valiant mind and subdues it ? What does it fear? What does it want to be? What does it wish to avoid? With the net result of further confusing myself, I leave house with a hanging face.

On my bike now, driving to office. Gentle breeze blows against my face, dead leaves fall off the trees and spread in front of me. Its the spring time, the time when old sheds itself and gives way to new. Lost in these I gaze at the dried branches of the trees around. Barren as they are, yet hopeful of new life. I take a look around me and find multitude of people buzzing. Are they too dead , ready to give way to new life? It seems truer to me in my own context. But to what life have I paved the way?

Wheel rolls at 60Km/ph and I am at office now, weary of beginning the day. It has to begin but. For until I am the dead leaf of the tree of life, I am alive. Till then I know that my mind is alive as well. The struggle between me and my mind shall continue this way, hoping that some day they may reconcile and move together. Digging deep I hit upon a plausible reason of conflict. My mind is a free entity but I am the product of others mind and so are they. I am the part of that long chain of blinded people held together with ignorance. My mind tends to act as my liberator but I tend to be bound. Could they ever come together? I don't know? But a strong conviction that I have in unison with my mind is that knowledge will liberate me and will bring us together. Knowledge is what I should seek for it holds the promise of liberation for me. I could be right this time. It holds the promise for me. Knowledge. It guides me to a purpose. Cautiously optimistic as I am, I feel good about it, but that traitor knows something that I don't and smirks at me silently.

Sunday, 25 January 2009

"Slumdog Millionaire". How true in its Intentions?

Slumdog millionaire was just an another movie depicting the tenacity of human survival against all odds. However, its not very unusual about the western world to lap it up, and shower it with numerous awards. It would have had been interesting to see how the same movie would have had fared had it not been based on Indian context.
Slums in India represents a spirit of survival despite all odds, nevertheless, a middle class worker, who toils hard to make ends meet, is no less a symbol of human spirit. One spirit cannot be said to be better than the other one, as both vie for the same goal, existence. However, a movie or a narrative based on that scenario wouldn't draw accolades. As an artist you tend to go to extremes, and the easiest shortcut is placed right infront of you. poverty and filth of India.Every country has its share of issues, so does India.Doesn't this question the ethics of the artist? Isn't he seeking the shortest path to success?
Can they do a self check and ask themselves, what their motive is.Fame or Art?.As of now It seems former is truer.

Wednesday, 7 January 2009

An allegorical act

Like a rodent it maneuvers to manage its fodder. Hiding and slithering through the surreptitious hides, it arranges the food for itself. How was it supposed to know the difference that the brains created. A motley collection of wayward thoughts, a precarious sense of achievement and a gloomy sense of loss. Despite of all the chances that it had , it stayed far away from achieving the impossible.

Saturday, 3 January 2009

An excursion to remember

It was to end the way it had started. We were devoid of all enthusiasm and energy. It was all drained out. Even the start wasn't a convincing one. Despite of all odds we managed to go ahead with a fragile plan. Weather was chilling us when we began, just as the way sweat was drenching us few hours later.As we moved ahead mist engulfed us into its bosoms , wind started howling into our ears and the earth shaked us from beneath. Eyes were moist the face was frost. A stream dripped off the nose and road ahead was lost. But We were in motion, oblivious of ourselves, but nevertheless in motion.

Just then a strong beam of light emanated from the front. It was the ray that came out from heaven itself. It blinded us all for a moment and we didn't knew when it went past us. It was all back to normal again. The mist had disappeared and the azure sky loomed large in front of our eyes, It was not the sky however, which was to be conquered, it was that hill in the near distance. Zenith had reddened with the sign of an imminent sunrise and encircled us . The redness of the circumference appeared like a fiery tiara on the head of the hill.

To be continued ...