Tuesday, 29 December 2009

He & She - I

"If there is any chance of doing it, its now. Come ! Take a jump! This will be the last jump you will ever need." He stirred. Squirmed. Gave a ponderous look around. And the laid back. How could he? No! No! Its just not so. Its not right. I am out of my mind right now! Gimme some time, to get back normal. Fantasy shall not override reality. Oh! but I cannot, I can't think straight, damage is irreparably done. But I still hesitate to take the plunge. Oh! all the pain, fear , pangs of separation. I cannot bear it all, my conscience it too weak for that. Let me try to be sedate. To sleep. To pass this time away, this wretched time, this pernicious time, this time which has stolen my sense of earthiness. Oh no! I know, there is no time. Time is just a frame in my mind. But don't embarrass me of my own idea. Its only an idea, its not me. I am different. I am wretched, I am weak , I am human. Oh no! I know, Human is all, he is power, he is creator and destroyer, he is wretched, but not without ideas. Even , if all of humanity were to stand up, right in front of me and grovel , to give myself up , I wont, yet I for myself, am so ready to give up, because I am losing to my own self. Man is power, but he is powerlessness to himself. Power to itself is not power. Its nothing. I am nothing. Oh no! what am I talking! Its all nonsense, I am a nonsense.


But, to hell with that, leave me alone, let me get lost in my dreams, let me shuts my sense of thinking, so that I can pass off. So that I can awake with a pristine mind, unmutilated, uncorrupted. But how can I stop my mind to think. I'll fornicate, yeah, I'll fornicate this wretched creature. It will ease my brains. It will rush soothing hormones to my mind. But, wait! Oh no! I cant do that. That lady is not my wife. How can I copulate with her? Its out of social ethics, out of the edicts of society I live in. Its not my way. Yes.. I know. The social norms don't necessarily know what her and my wants are, and impose it on us to be chaste. I wont . But no! that would tantamount to follow you! I am not ready for it. I am not in my right mind for it. But yes, off course, I can follow you, its my own idea, my own parallel universe. My own progeny. Wait.. I ca.... . And he passed out.

All around him, filth and misery loomed large. But he was oblivious of it. He was lost. Lost in transition or in translation. There were men around him, giving a scorn to this wretched creature on this filth. The market of socials , criminals, chaste and lecherous gathered around to take a look. He looked strange, animal like, yet human! But they eventually got bored and left the place. It must have been long since he laid there. So long that , the street dogs and vultures , the one's that are always in search of a dead soul, presumed him to be dead and created a gathering around. But none moved forward. As evening drew , so did the clouds in the heaven above. It became as dark , as the six months of the dark nights on the pole had dawned all together. But all lay in wait.And so did he. Through the corner of his eye, he looked at the gathering around him. They perhaps were better, than all others. And with an assuming nonchalance he got up, as if all the carnivore around him were his slaves around that had cared for him so long as he was lost.

Heading nowhere, he chanced to observe an unnatural quietness, while the natural downpour drenched him. He kept on walking, unaffected by the rain. It served to wash all the filth off his tout body. He suddenly took a look around, something further strange had caught his attention. At a furlong's distance a middle aged person, in tatters was feeding a baby. In this desolated neighborhood, at this time of night, he was surprised to find her there. He hesitated to approach her, but feeling that he could help, he went forth.

The lady , though in tatters, didn't appear to be a wretched woman. The baby, lying in her bosom, was trying to suck milk from her breasts, which she was unable to do. He stopped in front, hunched and took a deep look at the lady. She shrugged, shuddered back and gave an admonishing look to him. But then, she looked in his eyes, and he in hers, and she eased. Some signal had passed through and she passed on the baby in his arms. With a tacit understanding , both got up and started walking together in that rain. Her breasts were still uncovered, but she didn't bother. The baby kept on crying.

Holding baby in one hand, he took out a key from his pocket, opened the door to the room and both moved in. He switched on the heater and opened his clothes. So did she, and then her svelte body around with a sheet lyong around. Then taking a bottle of milk from the refrigerator, she put in milk near the baby's mouth. Its cries had gone mild, out of tiredness, and on finding food at its tip of lip, it sucked it with greed of a child. She fed the baby , and cossetted it in her arms. Having the food and warmth, for what else a baby eants, it eased and slept. Putting her on the bed, she scampered around for clothes to wear.

He motioned her towards an almirah , where the garments lay. He had warmed himself meanwhile, in the heat of stove , and of the wine. As she changed her clothes, he fixedly wathced her with a persistent gaze at her eyes. It was dark and grey around. Rain had washed all the makeup that she mut have had worn, for there were stains of it. She got herself in his clothes and came and sat infront of the baby. He got up and came close to her.

"It is not your baby. I can say that for sure, but as for your disposition I have some apprehesnion that you do not belong to the streets.I know, why you must have cared for that baby, but I dont know who you are?" He placed the question to her with the calm of a n old king takking to his young daughter. She drew her lips together, brought her dripping hair forward and uttered."

4 comments:

Jolly said...

It is an awesome piece of work. And more importantly the flow is too good. Perhaps its high time that you start taking your writing seriously.

Casper said...

Awesome.....m intrigued and wud be waiting for the second part of the piece....kp writitng...its gr8...

kundan said...

After a long period of time I found something very interesting to read out. I don't have word to appreciate this master piece of work.After reading this wonderful piece of work, if I don't put my comment I must be doing injustice to it.So here it comes...

It started with the enthusiam of the character but he looses it gradually by thinking so much about worhtless things, but again when he realized that, he was loosing his confidence he stopped thinking about it and decided to go into deep slumber.

To regain his confidence he thought of doing unethics things, but he has respect for his values and so he does not go against it and abstinate himself.
When he realized that there is no pressure or social bounding he took step forward and hold her hand to help her as well as himself...............

suneeta said...

Kudos man! I saved this link for weekend n it was totally worth it :)